9 Simple Tips For Starting Conversations on Dating Apps
Master starting conversations on dating apps with personalized messages, humor, and thoughtful questions. Make a great first impression and form connections with confidence!
Introduction
Starting a conversation on a dating app can be nerve-wracking. With so many users and so much competition, making a memorable first impression is key. Whether you’re new to online dating or a seasoned pro, knowing how to craft the perfect opening message can help you stand out from the crowd and get the conversation rolling. Here’s how to start a conversation on a dating app and increase your chances of forming a meaningful connection.
1. Be Genuine and Personalize Your Message
The easiest way to turn someone off is by sending a generic, copy-paste message like “Hey” or “What’s up?”. These types of messages can come across as lazy or disinterested, and they don’t offer much to build a conversation on.
Instead, make your message personal. Take a look at the person’s profile and pick out something that stands out to you. It could be a shared interest, a unique hobby, or something fun from their bio. By referencing something specific, you show that you’ve put thought into your message.
Example:
- “I see you’re into hiking! What’s the best trail you’ve been on?”
- “I love your dog’s name. How did you come up with it?”
2. Use Humor to Break the Ice
Humor is a great way to make a memorable first impression and set a lighthearted tone. A funny or clever message can grab attention and make the other person want to respond. However, be sure that your humor is friendly and appropriate—nothing too over-the-top or offensive.
You can use light jokes, puns, or even fun observations based on the person’s profile. Just make sure your humor aligns with the vibe you get from their profile!
Example:
- “So, how do we explain to our grandkids that we met on a dating app?”
- “You’re into travel, huh? Does that mean you have a favorite airport lounge snack?”
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions are great conversation starters because they encourage the other person to give more than just a yes or no answer. Instead of asking something that can be answered in one word, ask questions that invite the other person to share more about themselves.
These questions can be related to their interests, hobbies, or even their day-to-day life. Open-ended questions keep the conversation flowing and provide opportunities for deeper engagement.
Example:
- “What’s your go-to weekend activity?”
- “If you could visit any country right now, where would you go and why?”
4. Compliment Without Being Overly Flattering
Compliments can be a great way to start a conversation, but it’s important to strike the right balance. Instead of focusing on their appearance, try to compliment something unique about their profile. Complimenting someone’s personality, hobbies, or even their taste in music or books can be a more meaningful way to show interest.
Compliments should feel genuine, not like a line you’ve used on a dozen other people. Avoid being overly flattering, as it can come off as insincere or desperate.
Example:
- “Your taste in movies is amazing—Inception is one of my all-time favorites!”
- “I love how adventurous your profile is! Have you always been into trying new things?”
5. Mention a Shared Interest
One of the easiest ways to start a conversation is by pointing out a shared interest. Dating apps often match people based on common likes or hobbies, so use this as a foundation to begin chatting. Whether it’s a mutual love for sports, cooking, traveling, or a favorite TV show, mentioning this shared interest can instantly create a connection.
By focusing on something you both enjoy, you’re setting the stage for a natural, engaging conversation.
Example:
- “You’re into Game of Thrones too! Which character is your favorite?”
- “You’ve got great taste in music—I’m a huge fan of Coldplay as well!”
6. Use Creative and Thought-Provoking Prompts
Many dating apps, like Hinge or Bumble, offer conversation prompts or bio questions designed to spark interesting dialogue. Take advantage of these by asking thought-provoking or creative questions that invite fun answers.
You can also come up with your own prompts. Whether it’s a quirky “Would you rather” question or something to inspire nostalgia, these types of questions can make the conversation more engaging and fun.
Example:
- “If you could have dinner with any three people, living or dead, who would they be and why?”
- “Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible for a day?”
7. Keep It Light and Playful
Starting a conversation on a dating app doesn’t have to be overly serious. In fact, keeping things light and playful can create a relaxed atmosphere and make the other person feel more comfortable. Instead of diving into deep topics right away, try to keep the initial conversation fun and casual.
Jokes, playful questions, or lighthearted observations about their profile can keep the mood upbeat and make them excited to keep chatting with you.
Example:
- “I see you’re into food—I have to know, are you team pineapple on pizza?”
- “Your love for dogs is impressive! Are you prepared for a debate on cats vs. dogs?”
8. Avoid Being Too Forward or Aggressive
While flirting is part of dating apps, it’s essential to avoid coming across as too forward or aggressive right from the start. Being overly flirty or making suggestive comments in your first message can make the other person uncomfortable and hurt your chances of getting a response.
Start with a friendly tone, and let the conversation progress naturally. Once you’ve built rapport, there will be plenty of opportunities to flirt and get to know each other better.
9. Stay Positive and Polite
Lastly, always maintain a positive and polite tone. No one likes talking to someone who complains or brings up negative topics right away. Keep your opening message upbeat, and show that you’re excited about the possibility of getting to know them.
Being polite also goes a long way. Simple phrases like “It’s nice to meet you” or “I’d love to hear more about your interests” can make you come across as friendly and respectful.
Things to Avoid When Starting a Conversation on a Dating App
When initiating a conversation on a dating app, knowing what not to do can be just as important as knowing the best practices. Here’s a list of common pitfalls to avoid, tailored for both men and women to help you make a positive impression and keep the conversation flowing smoothly.
– For Men: What to Avoid
- Generic Openers: “Hey” or “What’s up?” is often seen as lazy and unoriginal. These messages don’t offer much to work with and can come off as disinterested.
- Overly Sexual or Forward Comments: Avoid making any suggestive or overly sexual remarks in your first message. Comments like “What are you wearing?” or “You look hot” can make the other person uncomfortable and are usually inappropriate.
- Compliments Focused Only on Looks: Compliments such as “You’re so beautiful” can feel shallow if not paired with something more meaningful. Focus on compliments related to interests or personality instead.
- Asking for Personal Information Too Soon: Questions like “What’s your address?” or “Can I get your phone number?” can come off as invasive. Build rapport before asking for personal details.
- Talking Only About Yourself: Avoid monopolizing the conversation with stories about yourself. Make sure to ask questions and show interest in the other person’s life.
- Being Overly Aggressive: Pressuring someone to respond or constantly sending messages if they don’t reply can be off-putting. Respect their space and give them time to respond.
– For Women: What to Avoid
- Overly Generic or Lackluster Messages: Messages like “Hi” or “Hey there” don’t make a strong impression. Personalize your message to stand out.
- Making Assumptions or Stereotyping: Avoid making assumptions based on stereotypes or generalizations. Statements like “All guys are the same” can be alienating.
- Using Negative or Critical Remarks: Starting the conversation with complaints or negative comments, such as “I’m tired of all these boring profiles”, can set a negative tone.
- Being Too Forward with Personal Questions: Asking personal questions too early, such as “Do you want to meet up right away?” or “How many people have you dated?” can be intimidating.
- Focusing Too Much on Physical Appearance: Comments focused solely on physical appearance, like “You’re gorgeous”, can be perceived as superficial. Highlight other qualities instead.
- Using Clichés or Pick-Up Lines: Overused pick-up lines, like “Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes”, can seem insincere and unoriginal.
Conclusion
Starting a conversation on a dating app doesn’t have to be complicated. By being genuine, thoughtful, and a little creative, you can make a great first impression and spark a conversation that leads to a meaningful connection. Remember to personalize your messages, use humor, and ask engaging questions to keep the dialogue flowing. Above all, be yourself and have fun—after all, dating apps are about meeting new people and enjoying the process!
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